‘Twas On A Monday Morning


…the joiner came to call, closely followed by the piano tuner and then the sink waste disposal repair man. Tomorrow they will be succeeded in turn by the general handyman attending to the fridge door and toilet flush, and later by an appliance guy to bring my coffee machine back to life along with the microwave.

I’m exhausted just watching them entering and exiting the house.

Still, organization is its own reward. I am quite excited at the prospect of once again being able to dispose of smelly fish down the sink instead of leaving it in the outside bin to drive the local squirrels crazy.

The microwave/coffee machine combo disaster has also been a bit of a nuisance. He who shall remain nameless tried to froth milk and failed to wipe down the spout. When in a fit of über-domesticity I decided to descale and clean the machine, the water being forced through the system couldn’t find a way through the blocked spout and escaped instead through a weak spot acting as a safe conduit to the microwave below. The microwave protested vigorously with flashing lights and allegations of temperature inaccuracies before it blanked out from life completely.

Noone has owned up to the toilet flush. But there are so many small odd jobs for the handyman to attend to, it’s no bad thing he is booked in for tomorrow.

It’s a curious feature of to-do lists that once you start one, it grows exponentially. The mere act of committing just one annoying broken piece of household nuisance to the top of a potential list just opens the floodgates. Since I began my Flylady onslaught on family life this last week, I can’t stop adding to the list. It has taken over my entire life, and working in the studio seems a million miles away.

This morning’s joiner has kindly sorted a guttering problem and advised on a timber frame. The guttering issue has reminded me of a peeling and disintegrating chimney stack and so I await calls now from local roofers. No doubt this free-flowing thought association will have led to a whole series of external renewal works by tomorrow.

I would liken it all to the Painting of the Forth Bridge, but apparently that simile has had it. Workmen have just finished applying a new epoxy coating of some sort which now avoids the need to start back painting the other end of the bridge all over again.

That’s what I need for this house. Some sort of magical substance once applied to make it unnecessary to ever have to have streams of workmen again.


One response to ‘Twas On A Monday Morning

  1. The only way to have a house without repairs is to live in a different one, and occasionally walk round the good one to enjoy the moment. Maybe soon we will, like appliances, have disposable houses – sold off the shelf – and delivered to your plot by Tesco Direct. Who knows. Renovating our house keeps getting longer, I no longer allow lists, they grow even as you do the jobs on them, they have some quality that just keeps getting bigger.


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